I haven't had experience with someone stealing a name I'd chosen for my own babies, but I know that is a sensitive subject for many.  Which is why some couples that I've attended to as a doula don't mention the intended name for their baby until the baby is born.  Sometimes I think it's because they don't want any outside opinions on their choice--especially if it's an unusual name, and others reasons include not wanting anyone to share it.

How to handle this?  Maybe letting the borrower know you have every intention of naming your child that and will not be changing your mind if they take it.  That might cause them to reconsider??

Always a fear it seems! My friend has a girl with the exact same name as her and almost the exact same age on the other side of the country. She doesn't not have a common last name. But she said that when her mom was pregnant with her she was on a plane and met a lady who had the same unusual last name and  who was also pregnant. My friend's mom told her the name she wanted and how much she loved it. Well it turns out that the lady named her daughter that she was pregnant with the exact same name!

For us, it seems we always try to keep our name choice quiet for a bit so we don't have to see anyone's reactions to the names we have picked and to make sure that noone else is preggers and going to steal it! lol

We had a name we wanted to use for a girl for a long time.  When pregnant with my last, my husband's niece used the exact name first and middle name.  My mother-in-law called me to apologize if she had somehow mentioned the name to them.  No worries, we still intended to use it, but our baby ended up male, so we didn't.  My husband's niece says it was total coincidence, and I am inclined to believe her, but it still was a bit awkward.

My friend had another friend pregnant and due a month before her.  One day they were discussing names and the other woman mentioned a couple they were thinking of and my friend told her the absolute name (1st and middle) she had wanted to used from childhood.  Yeah, her friend used the name and the friendship ended.

Who does that on purpose?  It is so MEAN.

That being said, with 50+ cousins on both sides of our family and as many nieces and nephews, it is impossible to not start reusing some names.  My husband has a nephew with his same name, my son shares a name with his cousin and this same cousin has a child with the same name as my other son.

You're right, with a lot of cousins, some overlap or similarity is bound to occur.

My SIL had her daughter in 2005 and used a family name that we had been planning to use. I was sad, but since I wasn't pregnant, I had no real claim to the name. During her hospital stay, we talked about other baby girl names. I told her my *new* favorite (since she had just used my *old* favorite). Guess what baby girl #2 was named? My *new* favorite.

We were both pregnant with boys at the same time, she was due 6 weeks before me. We had our name picked out since I had been about 8 weeks pregnant. She had no name picked out. My husband mentioned our name to her husband. Guess what baby #3 was named? My EXACT name. Three times in a row.

The first time, not her fault, it's a family name and I wouldn't have cared. The second time, she *could* have forgotten where she heard the name, so I give her the benefit of the doubt. The third time, it's possible that hubby came home with a great idea for a name, but didn't tell her where it came from.

Just in case, all baby names are secrets from now on. :)

Part of me wonders what the big deal is. Two of my dad's brothers have the same middle name as him. Three of my mom's brothers all have the same middle name. Any son of mine will have the same middle name as my sister's son.

I can see what you mean. I also think a middle name is different- unless they are all being called the same middle name.

My SIL took our boy's name, the whole thing including the middle name, which was for my father- a man not related to this child at all. So her son and my son both have the same middle name, my father's name.

I, too, am curious why people would end friendships over this. Maybe because I haven't carried around names since childhood, or because we are military and rarely live around the same people for more than a year or two, but who cares if your kids share a name? Sure, it might get hairy if they spend a lot of time together, but that's what nicknames are for. I dunno; of all the things to end a friendship over, this seems kind of petty.

When hubby and I were pregnant with our youngest, a boy, we faced some REAL challenges. His oldest 2 children were adults and starting families. They each had one and pregnant with #2. One also with a boy. Child #6 who was 12 at the time was the oldest's champion. *sigh*  EVERY name we came up with, she said was on the list of future (NOT this one, mind you...) boys they may have... Finally we just said we're going to name our son and if it was on their POSSIBLE list, it will come OFF their list and it looks like they have more on the list to choose than they could possibly HAVE!    It was getting OLD!

Do people end friendships over this?!?!?! Crazy...

It does not matter to me.  I love names because I love them, but I just consider it a complement if someone else loves them too.  Look at all the people who name their kids after scripture prophets.  There are so many of them, and no one seems to care whether or not it matter to those people.  I don't mind if my grandchildren have similar names, or even the same ones.  I would guess that if it is that important to you, don't share the name until after the birth.  Several of my grandchildren have similar names or are named after one of the aunts or uncles or even me!  In a big family, you can't help but "walk on" the names of others every once in awhile.  I say, if you love the name, than give it to your child and be happy about it.