Last fall, after months of unemployment, my husband found a job. It isn't the best paying, but it has great insurance, and he really likes what he does.
A couple of weeks ago, he ended up in a bit of an awkward position at work and it's created some pretty serious conflict between him and his boss. It's becoming very clear that she's working hard to push him out of his position.
I won't lie to you - I don't know that I can handle another period of unemployment. The last one was extraordinarily hard on my marriage, and I'm scared to death of doing it again. I'm afraid that I will not have the strength to carry us through it again. I'm afraid that he won't be able to find work. I'm just terrified.
Part of it is because we keep going through this same cycle. In the 9 years we've been married, he's had no less than 9 jobs. It is killing me. I left my previous full time position to go full time where I am now after the birth of our second child, and I have stayed. I end up feeling like he's being immature and irresponsible, and certainly that he's not doing what he can or should to provide for his family. That is my true, honest, emotional reaction.
I cannot financially handle all of our expenses on my income, and we have essentially no savings because of the previous months of unemployment.
So, I'm here now, asking you to pray for me. Pray because I need strength that is more than I have right now. Pray because I know that God can DO THIS THING for me, but I have to be willing to let it happen in His time, and that's hard. Way hard.
And maybe I'm overreacting - it's possible that this whole thing will blow over, but it's not looking that way, and I'm just trying to prepare for the worst.
