Have you Let you child/children cry it out/ or dealt with vicious comments?

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Have you Let you child/children cry it out/ or dealt with vicious comments?

_{Started by nicole , author of Modern Style Mama} _{10/19/2011 10:21:22 AM}

I wrote a post on my blog about letting my little one cry it out recently.

I've let all four of my boys cry it out and it really did work. Yes they cried the first night for an hour but improved drastically the next couple of nights. Turning into complaining for a few minutes and going right to sleep. I will also add that my little ones naps dramatically changed from 40 -45 minutes to 1 -2 hours long with in a couple days.

It didnt harm my children at all. Their sleeping improved greatly at night and for naps. Making them more rested happier babies.

Take a look at this comment below the post. http://www.modernstylemama.com/2011/10/mental-notes-for-mommycrying-it-out.html

I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Its not for everyone. Some mothers have children how go right to sleep on there own. But some fall into habitual waking and need to learn to get sleep or go back to sleep on there own.

But I find this comment very offensive and down right vicious. She is entitled to her opinion and I would be fine with that. But in this manner is so uncalled for.

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Reply by Shannon

_{author of Milk and Cuddles} _{10/19/2011 2:01:39 PM}

Ouch. That must have been a very difficult comment to hear. I can really empathize with how you must have felt to read someone else calling you a bad parent. That is after all- every parents worst fear.

One of the downsides to writing an opinion piece on the web - is that there will always be people that disagree with you. Some vehemently. And by reading your words - they will feel it's an invitation for them to write back. Which in most cases it is...

I think your commenter was someone that obviously had very strong feelings on this subject to begin with. And in her eyes, she sees it as a child being hurt. As a mom I know you can understand how emotional you can get when you believe you see a child being hurt. While I don't agree with what she wrote you- I do believe she was probably caught up in a very real "for her" fear that your child had been traumatized -and she reacted as such. And as moms we all have tender hearts for babies- and I bet you can see how that feeling might cause her to get more heated than perhaps she would normally.

But.Doesn't make it true. Or easy to read.

Mostly I send you big hugs, I think you are doing the right thing by sharing your heart as honestly as you can. There will always be people that disagree with individual parenting choices. But moms sharing what works for them and doesn't, can really be a huge help to others.

My heart really aches for you, and also for her. You both sound like good women that ended up on two sides of a fence. Try to let go of the hurt as best you can. Sending you cyber hugs.

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Reply by Nicole

_{author of The Activity Mom} _{10/19/2011 4:57:28 PM}

WOW! That was VERY bold of that person! I have an issue with leaving a comment like that. She/He should have said they disagree and why. Not going on and on about your mothering. Ugh. I'm SO sorry that happened!

By the way. I let my son cry it out. It's hard. It did work. And it took about 3 nights to stop. Glad I did it or I'd still be up there rocking him. =)

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Reply by Candi

_{author of A day in Candiland} _{10/19/2011 6:41:25 PM}

when me oldest son was born, he cried and cried. The doctor told me I needed to let him cry it out. I bought this book and can't remember the name for the life of me, but it was about schedules. Eat, play, nap, over and over. We let him cry the first night for about an hour. it was torture, but eventually he slept and it got easier. The next two kids, we had it down.

I think its each person has to do what works for them.

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Reply by jingjng

_{10/20/2011 1:54:28 AM}

i have no baby

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Reply by Kate

_{author of Eat Knit Grow} _{10/20/2011 7:00:30 AM}

I was a big fan of "cry it out" when my kids were little. Since they are now happy and healthy at 14,17, and 20 I think they made it through. They also became good sleepers although I dont know if that was a contributing factor.

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Reply by Candace

_{author of Naturally Educational: Lesson Plans, Activities, and Crafts for Early Childhood} _{10/20/2011 7:29:40 AM}

This is probably not what you want to hear:

I agree that when you put an opinion out there, you have to be ready to hear from those who disagree.

Now, I think there are productive ways to express disagreement and nasty ways to do so.

I don't see the comment. Perhaps you deleted it...which I firmly believe is your right on your personal blog.

Judging by how it upset you and the other comments here, I feel safe saying this was probably not a productive disagreement.

As to CIO, I am strongly against it. I do not believe it is an age-appropriate parenting method nor do I believe it "teaches" a child self-soothe or anything else.

I do believe it is done by well-meaning parents who are doing their best given their own information and available resources.

However, I believe that everything we know about a child's needs and development in infancy speaks against it.

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Reply by Candace

_{author of Naturally Educational: Lesson Plans, Activities, and Crafts for Early Childhood} _{10/20/2011 7:38:39 AM}

I just wanted to add my personal experience also that I have three very different children: one was very "high needs" and intense but I still used other methods to teach her to sleep on her own. I agree people have children with different temperaments--but I wouldn't assume that all people who disagree with CIO have had easy-going babies.

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Reply by Lynn

_{author of Crafter's Intervention Knot Needed} _{10/20/2011 7:46:59 AM}

Ok the biggest thing I have to say to you about this is ... I just want to hug you! That persons response was absolutely disgusting! I don't know maybe because I am a mother who had to use this same method but wow, really. My son is 17 and is fine, no wait, he is GREAT. He absolutely could not self sooth. He had to be swaddled ( tightly ) , NEEDED his pacifier, and actually needed noise to fall asleep. Our pediatrician suggested having him cry it out. If you have not been in the situation there is no room to judge. Th writer time we tried it I sat outside his door, literally on the floor, and cried myself. It was horrible and heart wrenching for me. But guess what, it worked!

Our second child is 7 ( yep 10 yrs later ) and we had to do the same. He was a bit different. We had to do this for the times he would wake during the night. We always put him in bed a little awake and this worked for us. The problem was he would wake up every couple hours in the night and want to stay awake. It took two nights with him of crying for about 15 min at a time ( after getting his tushy patted and soothed by our voice and not taken out of his crib ) . He slept like a champ after that. Still does....

Again, hugs to you!
Lynn

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Reply by nicole

_{author of Modern Style Mama} _{10/20/2011 1:11:57 PM}

Candance I am not looking for everyone to agree with CIO. We all have differences of opinions regarding multiple issues.

I am 100% fine with you and anyone else disagreeing with me. I respect your opinion and reasoning. I have four children and I disagree. They are all very happy, very loved, very healthy children. I am confident I made the right decision and have not been misinformed. My son issues were not tempermant related, in which i explained.

Your opinion was done kindly and most of all respectfully.

This is the comment I received:

I actually ran and threw up in the bathroom when I read this. This is actually HORRIBLE! What kind of mother ARE you!? Do you even understand what you are doing to your poor POOR child!!! DELETE this it is WRONG and horrible to tell other moms to also abuse/neglect their children. I am a counselor and many studies have been done around how harmful this is... why not try being his mother?!?!? He wants you to hold him and care about him!!! Not leave him alone crying!? What the hell is wrong with you!? I NEED to remove myself from a connection like this!!!! Thank you for messing up my night and I will send as much positive light and energy toward your child and PRAY he can escape your home.... Try looking up attachment parenting. You need it BAD!!!! For the love of your child! Im actually in tears for your baby right now..... :*( Poor poor thing....

along with the reply email as thisisonesickmama@...

Very much negative energy I don't want in my life or blog.

Again thank you for your respectful opinion.

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Reply by nicole

_{author of Modern Style Mama} _{10/20/2011 1:18:14 PM}

Thank you every one for you kind words and respectful opinions...I was just so speechless at such a vicious natured comment.

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