Great question! 

After our first we definitely wanted to have another and we knew we wanted them close in age.  My husband was supposed to deploy in April/May of 2008, and since I did not want to give birth while he was gone we made sure that July of 2007 would be the last month we would 'try' so that he would still be here when the baby was born, otherwise we would wait until he returned home.  I got pregnant that July and he switched units and didn't deploy after all so it worked out.

After we had #2, I didn't want to do any permanent birth control 'just in case' and he agreed but as time went on was good with just the two and said more and more "we're done"... and so was I but of course would always be happy if we ended up with a third. 

#3 was a surprise!  OOPS!  And having to tell him was awkward since I new he wasn't crazy about the idea of having more. (and it had to be over the phone while he was gone for 6 weeks).  After the initial shock wore off, he was totally on board with it and we're both excited!

I think being a military family makes it more difficult because not only do you have to decide on how many children you want but you also have to figure out the 'when'...you have to do a lot more planning when trying to work around deployments.

I think you "know" when you are done...I was back and forth after #2 but now, so close to having #3 I know for sure that this is our family, this is what it was meant to be and we are not having any more.

Well for us nothing was planned, #1 wasn't expected because things had gone well for about 8 mths and then bam.. I was SHOCKED!!! lol and # 2 was kinda/ sorta expected.. because I knew right after it happened that I was pregnant. (it's a long story, short version just moved overseas, birth control, and New years) Anyway I have been going back and forth about another child for the past 3 yrs. My boys are 2 wks shy of 2 yrs apart so my youngest will be 5 on tomorrow 

So I'm really having a hard time with the distance in age. I love that my kids can do for themselves and I really don't think I can do the late night feedings and sleep deprivation, lol. I feel that something is missing and the fact that so many people around me are having babies I'm just getting caught up in things. But if it happens then it will be a blessing and it means it was supposed too.Maybe i'll just get a puppy, I want another one too so Maddie can have someone to play with :-)

I think #3 is the hardest to decide on.  I can imagine too with yours both getting to that 'big kid' stage.  My #1 and #2  are also just a couple weeks shy of being 2 yrs. apart and #3 will be 2.5 years younger than #2, so the age difference works out.  Had we waited a while longer to have #3 then comes the question 'do you have #4 to balance out the age gap?'...

Ha, Ha, Ha, your funny... I don't even know if I am ready for #3 and you want to put four on me.. lol