I'll take this one, seeing as I have admitted to bringing boys
home from boys AND being left behind alone recently! ;)
For the record, I have only ever brought a guy home from a bar
two times in my life. The first was years ago, and I was actually
set up with him by a close mutual friend that night. We hit it off,
had too much to drink, and he came home with me to sleep it off at
my house. But I was pretty assured of the fact that he was a good
guy because of the person who was setting us up, and anything that
happened that night was 100% mutual! ;) We went on to date for
about 2 months after that, and are still friends today.
The other time was last October or November. I had definitely
had a lot to drink, and was trying to get over the boy. While out
with friends, I ran into a guy I had met 3 years ago. We have a lot
of mutual friends, and so again - I felt pretty safe with him. And
the friends I was with again also knew him, so they would have had
no reason to try to protect me from him. I took him home, and he
was a complete gentleman when I laid down the ground rules about
what would NOT be happening that night. We were both good and
drunk, but we laughed and talked and hung out all night... never
going anywhere below the waist! ;)
I've never attempted to go home with a guy other than those two
instances. I really have a thing for sleeping in my own bed when
drunk, and will happily pay for a cab if that's what needs to
happen so that I find my way home. So my friends have never really
had to worry about me going home with someone else.
BUT, I do have this weird habit of having a few drinks and
deciding I want to stay hanging out long past when my friends are
ready to leave. I would say this happens about twice a year (pretty
much the amount of times I get really drunk a year). I am an
incredibly happy, loving drunk and I'm pretty sure I typically seem
more sober than I am. So when I'm telling my friends I'm fine and
want to stay, I don't blame them at all for believing me. Part of
it is that I am rarely out anywhere where I don't know a ton of
people. If I'm out at a bar here, in all likelihood I'm going to
run into at least 10 other people I know besides the group of
friends I'm with. The same was always true with the bars we went to
in San Diego too. So I was never "really" alone. And at 28 years
old, I don't for one second expect my friends to be my keepers. I
am pretty damn good at taking care of myself, even drunk. It's
pretty rare I need a babysitter, and my friends are pretty good at
assessing the situation before deciding whether or not to leave me.
And if anything ever DID happen to me... that would be 100% on me.
Not them.
I do think it's a woman's responsibility to protect herself and
keep from getting so drunk that she increases the likelihood to be
a victim. But I don't necessarily think that responsibility falls
on her friends. And I don't think every situation is black and
white.
That said, after New Years I did actually tell my roommate that
if and when the situation ever arises again, she should just make
me go with her. Like I said, I'm a pretty happy drunk and I highly
doubt I would put up much of a fight. I don't think I'm her (or
anyone else’s) responsibility, but I realize that no part of me
NEEDS to be out partying until 3 in the morning anymore. After a
few drinks, I become convinced I can still hang. But really... it's
cool if someone just gets me home and safe to my bed instead!