A: This is why it's a really good idea not to
get so drunk you are no longer responsible for your actions.
Presumably the guy was drinking, too. So two drunk people
voluntarily stumble off to bed, then later she realizes that she
actually wasn't in a condition to give consent, even though she may
have appeared to be consenting. I take rape very, very seriously,
but as we've seen in high-profile cases, many women get slammed
with the notion that they've consented when they've truly been
assaulted. If this case is as the friend describes, I think it's a
big mistake for a woman to turn her mistake into a criminal
matter.
Q. RE: Response to Date Rape:
As a young woman who has drunk to the point of excess and hooked up
with boys I maybe shouldn't have: I think calling this rape is
totally unfair. I know that on occasions I have “blacked out,” some
of my closest friends will be shocked the next day that I don’t
remember much of the previous night (as I was acting relatively
more sober than I was clearly feeling). Am I proud of these
moments? Not at all. But do I blame the boys, also likely
intoxicated? Well, then I'm as guilty as they are.
A: This letter writer makes the great point
that while she was too drunk to remember what she was doing, she
likely was acting a lot more sober than she was, thus giving the
impression of consent.
Q. False Accusations: I have a
real issue with the "I was so drunk I can't consent" argument, as a
guy. My issue is this: A rape accusation, whether real or not, can
ruin a man's life—it can ruin his professional and personal
relationships among other things. Furthermore, the court of public
opinion is far too quick to convict men (think Duke lacrosse team)
without proof. The woman should ask herself if she really was raped
or she really just drank too much, and unless she's 100% sure that
she was raped, she should learn a lesson from this, not make her
fellow one-night-stander into a victim.
A: Another great point. No one should have to
defend himself against a false accusation like this. You are right
that the consequences can be disastrous.
