I've been married nearly five years. We've never really gotten
to a super bad place. We've only had one really ugly argument and
two ugly spats. I will tell you that when I broke my leg and had to
depend completely on him for everything, our marriage became so
much more awesome. I'm a pretty independent/self contained person.
I've always just taken care of everyone around me, it's just been a
part of my life since I was young. But when I lost all that control
and had to just let things go. Well he got to become a very
supportive, nurturing husband and I had to let him take
control/care of everything. I see now that he needed that in order
to reach his potential as a husband.
We are really good communicators. I have to give credit to
premarital counseling for that. It was amazing. It gave us tools
that we still use today. The beginning our marriage was a huge
learning experience, as it is for everyone. He grew up in a
household that was very mentally and verbally abusive. His parents
screamed/argued over every tiny thing. My parents never argued in
front of me. Once he realized I wasn't going to get into screaming
matches with him and we were going to talk things out like adults,
it was great.
I don't know if our marriage would be as strong as it is if we
had ended up having kids right a way. I think waiting has been
really good for us. We both needed to grow up, still do in some
ways. I feel that right now we're emotionally and mentally ready
for tots, just not financially, so it'll still have to just wait
for a while longer.
The hubs absolutely recognizes this. The other night he just
brought up it out of nowhere that he feels ready to be a dad and he
feels like he could give a kid everything he didn't get, but that
we're smart to keep holding off. He's even getting excited about
the prospect of adopting someday.
He's my best friend and my favorite person in the world. People
still think we're newlyweds. Which I think is a great
compliment.
