Well - I have a 19 month old and I do spank him.  Note, it's on his rear end, with my hand, through a diaper.  I rarely HAVE to spank him, but I do, and I use it consistently and appropriately.  For instance, in Wal-Mart (I know, I'm talking about spanking in Wal-Mart...call me red-neck...hehehe, I'd own the title!) - We were in Wal-Mart on Sunday and I told him to come to me.  He just stared at me and then looked away.  I told him again and he still wouldn't.  So, I grabbed him by his hand, and, while I walked him to our cart, he got swatted while I told him (read, not yelled, told) that when I say to come here, I mean it.  No fit, no screaming, no tantrum, but, he listened to me the next time.  I do believe that spanking can be appropriate when used properly.  However, "PROPER" use, is essential. 

No absolutely not. I do not believe in hitting, hurting my children to teach them life lessons.

Jamie, I agree...obviously.  I too do not do it anywhere other than on their rear ends, and never use an object.  Also, I want to be clear about my definition of spank....it's a small swat, slightly harder than a tap.  But it gets their attention in those times when they are not listening to anything otherwise.

Tracy-I completely respect your point of view, and would love to hear what tactics you do employ.  I am sure you would have a wide array of tricks up your sleeve.  Care to share? 

Thank you both for your comments.

I am one of those folks who has learned to never say never. I'm sure God has chuckled many times when I foolishly say something like "My children will never do that" or "I would never do that". I'm sure He's looked down on me with his infinite wisdom and said "You just wait until a few years from now".

I was actually one of those parents that thought that spanking was OK. I was spanked and I turned out OK. I would say things like "what that kid needs is a go swat on his behind" when I saw a "bratty" child someplace. Until my God saw to give my wife and I two very unique boys. Both have sensory issues. One has been diagnosed with asperger's syndrome (on the autism spectrum) and the other is in the process of being tested. Both of them have meltdowns at times. The youngest is three, so most overlook his behavior, but our middle child (we have one older) is nine years old and the one that has aspergers. Things that don't normally bother most children can really set him off. If there is a change in the schedule, or things don't go as he planned, he can really have a meltdown that is not really his fault. We understand what is going on, but most other folks don't. I know hear others saying "What that kid needs is a good swat on the rear".

I still think that spanking can be appropriate in certain circumstances with certain children, but a parent has to be very careful to use it appropriately with the appropriate child.

Tim 

I use time outs for misbehavior. And always have some kind of reward system. Now we are using tokens (Chuck E Cheese leftovers) in a tin can. Each kid has a can(Campbell soup leftover) with their name on it. And they get tokens for doing things like using good manners at the table, helping me when I ask, picking up toys,being nice & kind to others, etc...

And at the end of the day they can cash them in for different prizes. 5 tokens gets something out of the chocolate bag,6 gets 15 min free time w/ Play Doh, Painting,or Coloring ,7 gets 15min of computer time,8 -30 min TV.

If they break the rules they get tokens taken away.

I also allow them if they wish to roll over the tokens to the next day. 10 tokens gets a trip to the dollar store , 12 tokens play the Wii for 30min.

Now before this reward system I used Red,Yellow, Green Light. If they stayed on Green all day they got something out of the treasure chest or chocolate bag.

I think you have to change it up, I think we started off with stickers when the boys were little. And that definelty wouldn't work now.

I love watching Super Nanny, and LOVE & LOGIC has some great books. www.loveandlogic.com

Hope all this jumbled up mess makes some sense...lol

I totally agree with you Tim. You know I always said before I had kids that I would spank my kids .I was spanked and I guess I turned out Ok too...lol

But I just don't think that we should hit our children to teach them. I mean is it really teaching them anything besides someone bigger than you can hit you to get you to listen at the moment.

Do they learn anything?

keep in mind i do not have kids, but i was all for spanking until the day i spanked my nephew.  i do not think i will spank my future kids...i was spanked as a child and do not see it as a crime, but i could not get over the guilt. so for me it will be a no.

Tim, that is some very thoughtful input...and I appreciate that sort of feedback.  I agree that it must be appropriate if/when it's used. 

Tracy-Thanks!  Those are some seriously useful tips...my daughter will be 3 in Feb. and the token thing might work for her.  If not, it at least gives me some different options that I hadn't thought of before. 

J- I too, experience that guilt...every time. 

To all- I posed this question for the reasont that I stated to J.  I do feel guilty whenever I resort to spanking her.  It happened today, and that is why it was prevelant.  She has gotten so few spanks in her life, but each time I felt horrible.  I did have feelings like "what is this really teaching her?"  Yet at the same time, her behavior changed.  Take today for example, she was not listening to me when I told her to stop jumping on the couch.  Instead she started whipping her blanket at me.  I warned her again and she launched her legs out and kicked me.  I turned her over and gave her a swift pop to her behind.  She of course cried. That is what gets me.  I think she feels so surprised and her feelings get hurt.  So then I sit her in my lap and hug her while explaining that she needs to listen to me, that what she was doing was dangerous.  I told her that I don't like to spank her, but she was not listening to me.  She said "sorry mommy."  Then we went on about our day, and she was fine.  I just wasn't.  Again, I so seldom resort to that type of punishment, and I would love to have other ways to get her to listen in those truly trying moments.  That's why, Tracy, input like yours is so valuable.  Thank you all again for participating in this discussion.

we haven't really had to spank yet, but i'm sure we will.  i will NOT use it freely.... only if she really needs it.  for right now, time outs work for her.  she hates timeouts. 

I don't really like spanking...but my husband is a firm believer in it.  That said, he has changed his ways, because our boys both have Aspergers and we don't feel right spanking them.  Plus, I admit, there have been a few times when, at a loss of what else to do, we have spanked them...and it did absolutely no good.  Neither does time out.  For them we really have to rely on natural consequences when possible, taking away things they love (Transformers or my son's stuffed duck), rewarding, rewarding, rewarding for the good things they do.  Plus we watch them super carefully, because obviously if they decide to run in the street or something we wouldn't want them to experience natural consequences there.