Hello - I just commented on your post but wanted to visit your community as well. I have never dealt with the loss of a child but I once had a very close boyfriend who died in a plane crash. He was a bush pilot in Alaska, which is dangerous, but no on ever expects a crash to happen to them. It was devastating for me and his immediate family (that was 15 years ago and his mom and I are still very close). My family, on the other hand, had no idea how to support me. I lived on my own about 2 hours away and I called them every day for weeks. I didn't even know what I needed from them but I knew I wasn't getting it. They simply didn't know what to do with me. Finally, my best friend (who lived in another state) drove to see me. She made sure I ate, showered, she fielded phone calls, made sure my bills got paid, and was my shoulder to cry on. Out of all the family members and people I had in my daily life, she was the only one who stepped up and showed up for me.
I don't think people mean any harm, I just think they don't know what to say or do so they do nothing. Some people think that their awkwardness will make someone feel bad. And then time goes by and people feel embarrassed that they waited so long so they continue to be silent. Don't be too hard on them - they'll learn. When people know better, they do better. My sister acknowledged years later that she wished she had called and done more - she just didn't know what to do and was busy with her own life.
p.s. Rusty is right - many people find that reminding readers about your community in your daily posts (like a note on the bottom that says "hey, come join the conversation here in my community") or something like that tends to attract more people to the community.
Thanks for sharing your story on your blog!