I'm not there yet. I know you will do better than best because you love him. Be strong.

Making decisions today, as he is not handling the food well at all. He is tired, and I feel he wants to go be with Mom. Now I am working on his affairs and family members.

My Mom took care of my Dad at home and Visiting Nurses came ~ When she became sick ~ my brother lived closer and then I moved by to be near her ~ Had already taken care of a husband with cancer at home and then later remarried and did the same thing again ~ all before the age of 56 ~ It is not easy but as Red said ~ they cared for us and so I took care of them because I loved them ~ Got very tired and then took care of my only aunt in my home ~ by then I was drained ~ 

So ~ important Kat for you take good care of you during this very stressful time ~ Life is good but death of a loved one is very hard ~ The way of life as you say ~ Lots of healing hugs to you ~ namaste ~ 

Would you believe he went home yesterday? He did. And now basically, my niece and her husband, and my husband and I will be caring for him. I think he may get a bit stronger and better at home. But he also just wants to be there if he dies. Not in a hospital. 

We also decided to bring him home without the feeding tube in. My niece seems to be able to feed him, slow and easy and he handles it fine. The nurses feed too fast and too much. They don't have the time. 

I will be seeing him this morning in a bit.

It can be very stressful. My situation is more of a financial parenting situation. My father, unable to work after a massive heart attack combined with the financial collapse in 2008, created the "perfect financial storm" for my parents, who are relatively young. Dad 69, Mom 64. It has been a nightmare (and expensive!) to get it all on track. My husband should be canonized. 

But, what is the alternative? They are my parents. I couldn't let them be homeless!

My heart goes out to you all that find yourselves in the same reversed role. 

-Jackie

I just came home from my father's. He is being taken care of by my niece and her husband. They are not the best, but will do it and they both love him. I can't completely trust them and that makes a hard situation harder. But they are all I've got. 

Its a difficult and sad time when we begin assuming that role of 'parent to our parent'. My father began having health problems at age 71. I stepped in, but I was hesitant. Dad was so independant and proud. I worried he wouldn't like it...  but he was actually relieved when I did. Which made it easier. Still hard though trying to talk to your parent and advise (tell) them what they need to do. Dad died that year. I never regretted being there for him (and Mom. It was very hard for her)...

now its my mom, and she alzheimers. Its been extremely difficult emotionally. She has become someone else, very mean and difficult.  I know we are doing right by her .. but she tells everything how awful I am, how I have 'taken over her life when there is nothing wrong with her.  At her worse days she can have us both in tears. (even though I am a nurse, and actually Alzheimers is my speciality.... and I understand it all ... and often hear my own words that I have spoken to family members in my  mind... its my emotions and heart that hears her and it hurts. ... but I will always be there to care for her. I appreciate the fact that when I was  young and difficult (although really I think I was a fairly 'good' kid) she was there for me... and so I will be for her. Never easy.

You can only do what you can do... just try to check in with your neice and husband to oversee. I think it is great that you are able to have someone there for him so he can be home as he wishes.

I always think of something our pastors wife had told me when I was caring for Dad .... and she always finished our conversations with a hug... and 'be good to yourself'... so I am sending you a hug and a reminder to be good to yourself!

Thank you. I will try. 

“

Ann said ...
I always think of something our pastors wife had told me when I was caring for Dad .... and she always finished our conversations with a hug... and 'be good to yourself'... so I am sending you a hug and a reminder to be good to yourself!

”

Very tough doing this now. My father is now under the influence of my drugged out niece and her husband. His house is very crowded and they are taking advantage of him. I am researching how to remedy this situation.