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Which Manners Need to Make a Comeback?

Started by Kristi , author of The Maze of Our Lives 5/27/2011 10:09:54 PM

Politeness and manners seem to have disappeared. 

Which manners do you think needs to make a comeback?

 

I vote for putting cell phones away when having a one on one conversation with someone.

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Reply by Aleta

author of Aleta's Arty Facts 5/28/2011 11:30:33 PM

I'm with you on that one.

Teresa's profile picture
Teresa said ...
Mr and Mrs Sugar. Adults of respect should always be addressed as Mr and Mrs. That is one custom or manner that really needs to come back


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Reply by Michelle

author of We Believe in Christmas 5/29/2011 2:11:39 AM

As my children get older, I am often frustrated with RSVPs and parents not picking their children up on time!  Accountability is a part of manners.  If I invite your child over from 6pm to 10:00am, don't expect me to wait all day for you to claim them!  How do we teach our children to be on time when we don't come and get them at the designated time? 

I have also noticed that kids will cancel their plans for the next better thing.  That was never an option when I was a child and is not acceptable in my home.  If you make plans with "friend A", you don't cancel because "friend B" sounds more exciting. 

As for the Mr. and Mrs., we allow our children to use Mr. or Mrs. and first name (ex: Mr. Jeff) for friends of our family, but Mr. or Mrs. last name (ex: Mr. Smith) for elderly, teachers, and people we don't know well. 


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Reply by Paula

author of Chestnuts & Chutzpah 5/29/2011 1:31:53 PM

Know what you mean wink

what I have noticed here in the US when traveling by metro in NY, connector bus to Washington DC metro etc etc. that the kid/ teenager sits and the mother stands?

In Europe most of the older kids ( above 9 I would say) get up and offer the seat to an elder person and would ensure that their parents sit first!

Aleta's profile picture
Aleta said ...
I hasten to add that of course that's not the only reason, I didn't mean that, as, in my experience, well brought up Europeans tend to be polite and old school  in any case, but what I meant was that I think having the formal case in spoken languages keeps things from slipping quite as fast as they do in English.

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Reply by Kristi

author of The Maze of Our Lives 5/29/2011 1:38:13 PM

I am pleased to see some of this occurring, too.


Aleta's profile picture
Aleta said ...
I do notice, Kristi, that some enclaves in the US are hanging onto courtesy for dear life, which is gratifying!


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Reply by Kristi

author of The Maze of Our Lives 5/29/2011 1:44:03 PM

That is a frustrating problem.  Even with RSVP's to baby showers and that type of party, we have trouble getting adults to RSVP.  Most of my friends have begun asking for "Regrets Only" on the invitations.  The assumption is "You're coming unless you call to say you can't."


Michelle's profile picture
Michelle said ...
As my children get older, I am often frustrated with RSVPs and parents not picking their children up on time!  Accountability is a part of manners.  If I invite your child over from 6pm to 10:00am, don't expect me to wait all day for you to claim them!  How do we teach our children to be on time when we don't come and get them at the designated time? 


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Reply by Aleta

author of Aleta's Arty Facts 5/29/2011 5:59:19 PM
Bernie's profile picture
Bernie said ...
This forum proves though that there are some of us out there that havent given in and won't change that which is good to fit into the downslide of society. Don't let it make us bitter to see but rather shine forth in diligence. Do not grow weary in well doing!


I think you make an excellent point, Bernie.

Far better for us to hold fast to our beliefs and actually do something, rather than just whinge and turn into crabby old women!


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Reply by Mama Alvina

author of Ahava & Amara Life Foundation 5/29/2011 9:24:09 PM

R-E-S-P-E-C-T is totally missing. I remember at one time you respected your elders whether you knew them or not.  Nowadays, young children and teens curse in front of adults, curse them out and even get on like they want to fight.  And to make matters worse, if you say something to their parents about it, sometimes instead of them correcting their child they curse you out too.


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Reply by meg

author of Mergie 5/30/2011 6:43:59 AM

I remember  we were leaving a restaurant & my son (about 9 yrs old)had opened the door for me.  I thought he was following me to the car, but  I turned around I saw him still at the door.  The poor child couldn't get away because he was  holding the door for everyone & couldn't figure out how to gracefully let the door go.(I rescued him).


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Reply by Kristi

author of The Maze of Our Lives 5/30/2011 9:56:17 AM

That has to be the cornerstone of this whole conversation.  Respect should drive us to consider one another in all our actions--whatever we say, whatever we do.  Very good point.

 


Mama Alvina's profile picture
Mama Alvina said ...
R-E-S-P-E-C-T is totally missing. I remember at one time you respected your elders whether you knew them or not.  Nowadays, young children and teens curse in front of adults, curse them out and even get on like they want to fight.  And to make matters worse, if you say something to their parents about it, sometimes instead of them correcting their child they curse you out too.

Good one, Meg!  cheeky


meg's profile picture
meg said ...
I remember  we were leaving a restaurant & my son (about 9 yrs old)had opened the door for me.  I thought he was following me to the car, but  I turned around I saw him still at the door.  The poor child couldn't get away because he was  holding the door for everyone & couldn't figure out how to gracefully let the door go.(I rescued him).


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Reply by Marlene

author of Marlene's Many Hats 5/30/2011 1:46:13 PM

Thank you notes.  Not for every little thing but lately I've noticed brides are not sending them for weddings or showers.  Baby showers the same way.  Gratitude is becomming a lost art.....


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